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DOG LETTERS TO
GOD
Dear God,
Why do humans smell the
flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can
we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God,
Why are there cars named
after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, colt, the stingray, and the
rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a
cougar riding around? We dogs love
 a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head
off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand
human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers,
beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less
spaghetti, please.
Dear God,
When we get to the
Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in
Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God,
Let me give you a list
of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog: I will not eat the
cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
I will not munch on
"leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not
food.
The diaper pail is not
a cookie jar.
The sofa is not a face
towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
The garbage collector
is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong
in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the
officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and
registration.
I will not play
tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
I do not need to
suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the
rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not throw up in
the car.
I will not come in from
outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet
The cat is not a
squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God,
 May I have
my testicles back?
This
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to
maintain.
Please
show
your
appreciation
and
help
keep
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site
free.
dog5
home dog6
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