holidayinn retirement program,uselessgraphics

There's No Nursing Home In My Future....

When Old and Feeble, I'm Checking Into the

Holiday Inn!

The average cost for a nursing home is at least $188.00 per day.

I've
already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

With a combined
long-term-stay discount & senior discount,

it's $49.23 per night.

That leaves $138.77 a day for:

Breakfast, lunch & dinner in any restaurant I want,

or room service.
Laundry, gratuities & special TV movies.

Plus Holiday Inn provides a swim

ming pool, workout room, a lounge,
washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste & razors,

& all have free shampoo & soap.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

Five bucks worth of

tips a day will have the entire staff

scrambling to help you.
There's a city bus stops out front & seniors ride free.

To meet other nice people,

call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery,

take the airport shuttle bus

& eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you are at the airport, fly somewhere.

Otherwise the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into a decent nursing home.

Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

And you're not stuck in one place
forever - you can move from Inn to Inn,

or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? It has Holiday Inns, too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing?

Need to have the mattress replaced?

No problem! They fix everything & apologize for the
inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person

& daily room service.
The maid checks to see if you're OK.

If not, they'll call the
undertaker or the ambulance! .
If you fall & break a hip,

Medicare will pay for the hip &

Holiday Inn

will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family.

They'll always be glad to
find you & probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

The grandkids can use the pool.

What more can you ask for?

So when I reach the golden age

I'll face it with a grin.

Just forward all my e-mail

@The Holiday Inn.

SOMETHING FOR THE CHILDREN

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Last date this site was updated-Monday, 11 August 2008

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